last resort

it's the only way to forget you...
cutting everything that reminds me of you.

it's goin' to be really hard but i have to.
it's my last resort to save myself from total despair.
i've been really really really confused and frustrated.
i cant' think straight. always absent-minded.
you have dominated my mind
i do not know why things between us didn't work out.
guess, love alone isn't really enough. there were too many walls.
i've had conquered the impossible...unarmed, no weapons or gears
to protect myself from pain or bullets.
but you know what, i do not care getting myself wounded...
the fact that you love me and i love you makes me
null. i'll stand firm but how far? i dunno...
i used to be so certain about this but you didn't show me the actions i
needed to see, the words i longed to hear. you were just so passive. really passive.
i've had spent the entire year having this false hope about us.
dreaming, wishing and hoping that one day God will grant the chance for us to talk
but it didn't happen. i must have really been blinded to not see things clearly; that you weren't really the one for me. i should've seen and known it in the first place. that things like this don't last for long but i know it's real 'cause it cuts like a knife and i see it through your eyes -- the love that i can't contain and i don't deserve...i can no longer forsee my future without you in it. i'm sorry if i've had failed you and if i've had caused you pain. i really am sorry.